One Simple Trick to Improve Your Relationships!
Create a New Path to Improve Your Relationships!
Are you stuck in a rut in your relationships?
Do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, even though you know it doesn’t help you and doesn’t get you the love or the results that you need?
Well, here’s your problem in a nutshell:
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results. Narcotics Anonymous
You are on a habit loop, doing what you do because that is what you do. You do it that way instinctively, without thinking. Your brain goes there automatically, unconsciously.
If you want things to change, you have to wake up your brain. You have to make it respond consciously, rather than unconsciously. You have to train it to do something different.
So, what is one thing that you could do differently? It has to be one thing that you have control over. “I can nag the other person to death,” does not count. It has to be a behavior change in you for you about you and only you.
With that said, it can be, “I can ask for assistance.” The fact that it is a request on your part, not a demand, and thus the other person can say no to it, makes it all about you. If you are someone who hates to ask for assistance, I wouldn’t say, “I can ask for assistance when I need it,” because you’ll find ways around that, making sure that you never need help, just as you always have. “I can ask for assistance when I feel overwhelmed,” doesn’t work because you’ve let yourself get to overwhelmed and I’d like you to be able to ask for assistance before it gets to that point, maybe even as a way of ensuring that you don’t get to that point nearly so often anymore. “I can practice asking for assistance every day.” “I can ask for assistance at least once a day.”
Do you see where I’m going with this? Small, specific, targeted goals that you practice daily to move you in the direction of change.
The road less traveled will be harder going in the beginning. You won’t know exactly how to do it. You won’t know whether it will work or not. It may feel uncomfortable. Actually, it is almost guaranteed to feel uncomfortable at different points or even, if you don’t like change, all the time at first until you get settled into a new habit loop. Along the way, you may think, “Oh, this isn’t working. I want to go back to where it’s safe and secure.” And you can do that. But remember, that wasn’t working, either. That’s why you’re trying something new.
So, what is one, small thing that you could commit to doing differently in your relationships? Just one to start. There will be plenty of time for more later, if that’s what you want. Let’s just get you out of the rut and trying out a new path first.
Practice it every day for two weeks.
Check in with yourself. How does it feel? Does it need a little adjustment? If so, make an adjustment and try again, every day, for two weeks.
Check in with yourself again when you hit the 30-day point. Now, you’re used to doing it. What effect has it had on you? What effect has it had on your relationships?
Are you ready to take another step?
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